Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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