Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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