I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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