She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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