i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
