I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
