Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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