with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
