dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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