Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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