HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
