I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
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You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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