Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
