it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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