it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I am mentally ready for anal.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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