they said they heard you say put it in my butt
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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