i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
