Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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