This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
