Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
