I seem to have left my pride at pride
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
