walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
