That's intense
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
