If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
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Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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