We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
