Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
