Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
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U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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