Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize