That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You're like the curious george of whores
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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