i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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