first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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