You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
