You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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