I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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