you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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