Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
