Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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