So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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