and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
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You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
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I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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