Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
