If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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