Sponge bath it is.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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