last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
