I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
