oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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