so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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