I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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