Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
