okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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