Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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