Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize