I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
