I could have mohawked her pubes.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Randomize
