belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
