im six kinds of drunk right now
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
