he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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