Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
